In Which the Doctor Says Goodbye to his first wife
by liequeen
Summary: The Professor(timelady oc) and The Doctor (before any regenerations) Oneshot


In Which the Doctor Says Goodbye to his first wife

The Doctor paused in front of the closed door. Everything was silent, and he hated that, more than anything he hated silence. He knew what waited on the other side of the door, and felt mostly like running away. But he couldn't, he owed her this, her of all people, the least he could do was say goodbye.  
He slowly placed his hand on the doorknob, he could feel his hearts in his throat, as if he was about to face a whole fleet of Daleks, actually he would prefer the Daleks any day. The Doctor slowly turned the knob and stepped into the room. Even though he had known what he would see, it shocked and terrified him more than he had expected.

"Hello, Doctor." a familiar voice said from the bed. The doctor smiled faintly, it was the best he could do. She looked like herself, with her long black hair and her long red coat. Her eyes still had the same glow, the glow that would light up every time she saw the stars. The Doctor slowly went and sat at her bedside, and took her hand in his. "Hello, Professor."

"Doctor, still haven't changed a bit I see?" the Professor asked "Wife, you're dying... Please, please let me help you." She smiled "No, my dear everyone has to die and everyone will die at some point. And when I do don't you dare be sad. I know you, hating endings and all. Don't you dare cry over me. I need you to remember me as the mad lady who would always lecture everyone, not like this the dying mad lady who still wants to lecture everyone." She urged "One more thing. I need you to read this." The Doctor coughed and smiled "You want me to read a poem to you?" He began to read. "And stop calling me Professor. Call me my name, Chell.

"Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes  
And save these questions for another day  
I think I know what you've been asking me  
I think you know what I've been trying to say"

He stopped to take a breath; this might actually be the hardest thing he had ever had to do. Every fiber of his body told him to run away, he didn't have to do this. _Remember how you hate endings?_ But no, he had to do this. For her, only for her.

"I promised I would never leave you  
Then you should always know  
Wherever you may go, no matter where you are  
I never will be far away"

Chell's voice sounded like she was half asleep, but he knew she was conscious, and very aware of what she was saying. The Doctor tried to hold back his tears, as he picked up where she left off.

"Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep  
And still so many things I want to say"

He stopped caring if she could see his tears; for sure she would have to feel his chest shake, even though he tried to breathe steadily. He was holding the book in one hand, half lying down, with her lying on his chest, holding her hand with his other hand.

"Remember all the songs you sang for me  
When we went sailing on an emerald bay?"

The doctor listened to Chell as she spoke. He suspected that she had found this poem some time ago, and had it here for this purpose. He squinted his eyes a couple of times, since he didn't have any free hands to dry the tears away, before he started reading again.

"And like a boat out on the ocean  
I'm rocking you to sleep  
The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart  
You'll always be a part of me"

The doctor stopped, again blinded by his tears. "Oh Chell..." But she cut him off, before he could say anything.

"Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream  
And dream how wonderful your life will be  
Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby  
Then in your heart there will always be a part of me  
Someday we'll all be gone  
But lullabies go on and on  
They never die  
That's how you and I will be"

The doctor felt her hand slowly slide out of his, she wasn't holding on anymore. "Professor? Chell?" The pain in his voice, as clear as it had ever been. He knew what had happened, he had been expecting it, but that didn't make the blow any softer. The Doctor put the book away, got up and carefully laid her down on the pillow. She looked so peacefully, just lying there.  
"Goodnight my angel." his voice was shaking as he bend down to kiss her forehead, several tears landing on her cheeks. He curled up in a ball next to her bed, and cried. Loudly, there was no reason to hold back. She couldn't hear him, and if anyone else could, then it really didn't matter. He wanted others to know that he was hurting. He yelled and screamed as he several times went back to hold her hand, each time devastated by the coldness of it.

After a long time, The Doctor had no idea how long, he got up. Picked up her favorite sonic pen and her journal of mad things. He had no intention of reading it. Ever. The Doctor left, and went into the TARDIS dropping everything off at the library. Leaving the library he felt like he would never be whole again. She had meant so many things to him, and now she was gone. He looked back at the journal, from the entrance to the library "Goodbye Chell... Goodbye my love"


End file.
